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Showing posts from May, 2014

Getting Caught

Time for a soapbox moment...

I was talking recently to a young man who was caught in an affair, subsequently fired from his church, and is wrestling with his next steps.  He wants to do the right thing and is seeking reconciliation with his wife.  He served on staff at a fairly large church.

I asked him how his lead pastor responded to the situation and his reply came as no surprise.  The pastor was harsh, chastised him, and then proceeded to inform him that the only reason he was coming clean was because he got caught.  Let's be clear: that statement is TRUE.  If he had not been caught, he did not plan to come clean.  He was not overwhelmed with guilt and confess his sin without first getting caught.  For this reason, the pastor felt justified in his less than gracious response.

"If you had not been caught..."

This preface to whatever words follows it drives me crazy.  It is a statement I heard repeatedly when I went through a similar situation over 3 years ago. Here…