I forgive you, BUT...

It is amazing how one small conjunction can change everything. The word "but" is a small word, BUT it is a word that can support or contradict everything that precedes it. For that reason alone, the word but is small in size but huge in meaning.

Consider these examples:

I forgive you, but...
I love you, but...
I support you, but...
I believe in you, but...
I want to be your friend, but...

"But" changes everything.  What each of these phrases screams is conditional forgiveness, love, support, belief, and friendship.

Does but always imply conditions? Not necessarily but usually - even if the conditions seem warranted. For instance, a parent might say to their rebellious child: "I love you but we will not tolerate drugs in this house."  But does not necessarily negate the original expression of love. Yet this type of "but" statement tends to be the exception to the rule.

Only God can exhibit and enable true unconditional love, grace and forgiveness. Check out how God uses the conjunction: For the wages (consequences) of sin is death, BUT the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

God's use of the word screams UNCONDITIONAL.  God's use: "Because of your sin, you deserve the spiritual death warrant and all the subsequent consequences that stem from sin, BUT what I am giving you is LIFE and all its subsequent consequences. And the means by which this unwarranted act of unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness is being provided? JESUS - not you or your works or your goodness or your morality. You deserve death BUT I am providing you life!"

There are no "buts" in God's love expressions. Interesting enough, Jesus followers are instructed to forgive as Christ forgives - a forgiveness that does not include the word but.

It is difficult to omit the conjunctions when it comes to heart matters like love, forgiveness, friendship, and support. Let's be real - it is unnatural - especially when we have been hurt, abused, mistreated, taken advantage of, or betrayed.  Conditional love, forgiveness, and grace protects us from pain. Unconditional love, forgiveness, and grace leaves us vulnerable. Unconditional love, forgiveness, and grace exposes us to the reality that we might get hurt again! That's why it is so easy to talk about and so difficult to do.

This truth is one thing that makes the love, forgiveness, and grace of God so amazing. He loves us without the but knowing that we will hurt, abuse, mistreat, take advantage of, and betray Him again and again. And yet He loves. He forgives - without conditions, unwarranted, undeserved.

I tend to tack on conditions with my love, grace, and forgiveness. Most of us do.  I'm not sure I know the answer to this struggle. Perhaps the first step is to pray for God to enable us to love and forgive as He does and to learn to omit the "but" unless absolutely necessary.

And perhaps the second step is to let people know how much we love them before we let them know how disappointed we are in their actions.

Bottom line: true love and forgiveness begin with actions and not with conjunctions. 

I can hear you now: "But Devin, what about..."

God is on Our Side

I have not blogged in recent weeks. To be honest with you, I still have a lot of ups and downs in my journey and sometimes I simply do not feel like writing. Usually it is because I am struggling with something God is teaching me.  I have been processing a lot in recent weeks and asking God to clarify my next steps. I am not sure I have an answer but I was reminded this past week that God is in absolute control and I can trust Him.

The tone and content of most of my blogs reflects my life experience. I teach and write in a way that reflects what God is doing in my heart. Oftentimes that means that what I write or say is raw and authentic. I believe that's how most people want it - raw and real.  Anything else just seems too contrived and ideal.

I want to encourage some of you today who are struggling with God's direction for your life. For the first time in my life, I am really unsure of God's next step for me. There are a lot of people in my life who have personal opinions on what my next steps should or should NOT be. But it really comes down to what God wants for me. 

I think a lot of people struggle with their role in God's plan. We tend to disqualify ourselves based on our perspective and not His.  I wrestle constantly with this tension. I am my harshest critic.

This past week I was interviewed by a pastor that I respect regarding my recent life experiences. The conversation was candid, eyeopening, and healing. This pastor is developing a work on young "successful" pastors who have taken a fall of some sort (moral, emotional, etc). He is studying both the commonalities among these pastors and the restorative process (or lack thereof) that most groups employ after young pastors have fallen.  During the course of our lengthy conversation, he reminded me that God has gifted me in a unique way. My sin does not annul my gifts. Sin may redefine the role you perform within God's work but it does not revoke who you are as a person uniquely gifted by God.

During the course of this conversation, this older and wiser pastor reminded me that God called me into the "life change business" and that no matter what "job" I work or for how long I perform it that God's call on my life doesn't change.  God used what he said to speak into my life in a deep way.

Later that night, I had to drive a couple of hours to Nashville for an event and I was talking to God, reflecting on my earlier conversation, and listening to Hillsong's God is Able. The lyrics of that song remind me of God's ability to use us beyond our own beliefs and doubts. There is a simple yet profound phrase in that song that has stuck with me the last few days: "God is with us - God is on our side."

I'm not sure I always believe that God is on my side. I would probably say that I do but I am not sure I live like I believe it. Do I truly believe that the God of the universe who created the world with a spoken word, raised Jesus back to life, and handcrafted me for His glory is really on my side? Better yet, do I live like He is on my side?

If I believe and live like God is on my side, what does that mean for my sin? for my doubts? for my insecurities? for my fears? for my excuses? for my timidity? for my anxieties? for my uncertainties? for my struggles? for my past?

Living like God is on my side is a game-changer!

What are you facing today? What sin? What doubt? What insecurity? What struggle? What temptation? What past? Remember: God is on your side!

I am not sure what my future holds. I am not sure what your future holds. But I am sure that God is able. I am sure He is on my side. I am sure He is far above all I know or can see or think.

Be encouraged - regardless of what your past, present, or future looks like - God is on your side!

Life is Short. Have an Affair.

A few days ago I started receiving e-mails from AshleyMadison.com. I didn't really pay attention to the first few because I just thought they were ordinary spam e-mails sent from some random furniture or weight loss or whatever kind of company. But then I noticed in one of the emails that it indicated I had an account with them so I looked more closely at the e-mail. At first I thought it must be some type of mistake. But then I realized that AshleyMadison.com is the "Life is short - Have an affair" website that generated so much publicity several months ago for providing a service that allows married people to search for other individuals looking to have an affair.  Suddenly it dawned on me - someone had actually taken the time to set up an account for me! They used my name and birthday as a username - my wife's name as the password - some of my personal information for the profile - and my personal e-mail for the communication. In other words, someone intentionally set up an account in my name on a website that caters to people who have affairs. Do you think someone was trying to make a statement or in some perverted way trying to "catch" me (and I'm sure justify it somehow)?

My first reaction was pity and sadness. After all, what kind of person is so consumed with someone else's sin? What kind of person takes the time to do something like that? Obvious answer - someone so filled with bitterness or anger that they are allowing it to consume their life. Someone so consumed with my sin that they refuse to see the irony that they are committing sin in an effort to "expose" someone else's. Kinda sad huh?

I have had other people take time to list my name on websites that list cheaters. Some of the most common words people google to find out about me include the words affair or adultery or fallen. It is amazing the lengths to which people go to focus on other people's sins.

I wonder what it would look like if we were equally consumed with people's restoration or forgiveness or loving the undeserving.

We love labels. We love tagging people with titles - adulterer, cheater, manipulator - we love pinning names on people. We love reading about other people's failures, sins, weaknesses. We love tabloid Christianity. We love the drama that comes with other people's failures. We love to shoot our wounded.

Here's what God has taught me in my own journey: "Devin focus more on the titles I have given you than what others think about you. Find your identity in me."

Huge question: Is my identity going to be found primarily in my sin or in who I am in Jesus? Don't get me wrong - sin can mark your life.  My sin has marked my life in more ways than you can imagine.  But will I allow my sin to define my life? Big difference.

I want my life to be defined by who I am in Jesus. And here's how Jesus defines me: chosen - loved - accepted - forgiven. To borrow Paul's terminology, I am defined primarily in Christ. 

Some people may label me as a manipulating adulterer who is on the prowl looking for his next opportunity to cheat through AshleyMadison.com. But that's not how Jesus sees me! Some may view me as a disqualified statistic. But that's not how Jesus sees me! Some may label me as unrepentant or arrogant or self-serving or whatever title we tend to throw at those who have failed. But that's not how Jesus sees me!

There are people in your life who are ready to sign you up for an AshleyMadison account to try and catch you or write you off as a failure or do whatever they can do to remind you of your sin. There are people whose bitterness or anger will consume them and cause them to do perverted things to hurt you. There are people who will say things or do things and not think about your pain or your children. There are people who want to identify you primarily by your sin.

But guess what? There is One who gave His life for you - who died for your sin. There is One who wants your identity to be found in Him. And guess what? He loves you unconditionally - every day & in every way.

A Herculean God

I have been revisiting the Old Testament story of Samson - what a jacked-up dude! Samson had all the God-given potential in the world yet he threw it all away to pursue his own desires. His life reads like a Jerry Springer episode on steroids: sex, debauchery, prostitution, brutality, murder, rebellion, and just about any other sin you can name. Samson's life was marked by a thrilling, supernatural birth, a turbulent self-indulgent life, and a tragic premature death. Samson seemed to make all the wrong decisions in life.

Check out Samson's Herculean destructive life pattern:

- He was constantly in the wrong place
- He was constantly looking for a fix in the wrong way
- He consistently rejected wise counsel 
- He continued down the wrong path even when repeatedly given the opportunity to turn around
- He was far more hormone-driven than Spirit-driven
- He repeatedly compromised his own values and God-commitment for his own pleasure
- He frequently ignored his weaknesses and relied on Himself instead of resting in God

Samson made all the wrong decisions and faced severe consequences for his choices. If you know the story, we find in the last chapter the strongest man in the world is left blind, beaten, and shackled to a grindstone. The man who once struck terror in the hearts of his enemy is a laughingstock.  A man hand-selected by God for greatness is left humiliated and useless. A tragic ending to a potential fairy tale story - so it seems.

Enter God.

Here's the deal with God - He is bigger than our shortcomings. God uses people most of us tend to write off. God often uses the Samsons of the world to demonstrate His radical grace and power. Add Samson to the list of messed-up people God chose to use in a great way: Moses, Noah, David, Paul, Peter, Jacob, Abraham, Rahab, the list goes on and on. The people we tend to judge and dismiss God tends to use. Samson even makes the illustrious Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11. Do what? Did the writer of Hebrews actually read the story of Samson? Or just maybe God views people a little different than we are inclined to judge them.

At the end of the story, Samson needed another chance - not a second chance - Samson exhausted his second chance (and third, fourth, twentieth, and hundredth) a LONG time ago. Samson needed a final chance. He needed one more bailout. And that's exactly what God provided. When you read the passage (Judges 16:28), I'm not even sure Samson's motives were pure. He seems more bent on revenge than repentance and yet there he is in the Hall of Faith.

God uses Samson more in his death than He did during the entirety of Samson's life. God takes what appears to be a tragedy and uses it for His glory and to accomplish His divine purpose.

Here's a radical thought: You can make God your last resort and He will still hear and forgive you. God's grace is bigger than your harshest, dirtiest, darkest, most secret, most public, most selfish sin. The sacrifice of Jesus on the cross is more than enough to cover any type or amount of sin.

God is sovereign. He chose Samson before Samson was born. He chose Samson KNOWING Samson would fail Him time and time again. He chose Samson fully aware Samson's life would be marked primarily not by holy consecration but by hedonistic profligacy. He chose Samson because the story of Samson is not about Samson - it is about a God who pursues, redeems, and uses sinful people for His glory.

What does Samson teach us?
- Sin is destructive. Wrong decisions result in harsh circumstances.
- Right decisions help prevent unnecessary consequences. Make wise choices.
- Grace does not always eliminate consequences (although grace by its nature thwarts consequences).
- God's grace and forgiveness is bigger than our sinful choices - that's what the gospel is all about!

Your life does not have to be marked by sinful choices, but if it is - know Jesus Christ bore the sins of the Samsons of this world on a cross so that they might be forgiven and have life.  Cry out to Him and He will hear and forgive - even if you are blind, beaten, and tied to the grindstone of life. 

Behind the Facebook Status

A lesson God is teaching me...

Godliness is more than a pithy Facebook status.
Godliness is more than a public persona.
Godliness is more than tweeting a Bible verse, a song lyric, or a quote from a popular book or Puritan.
Godliness is more than the image people have of you.
Godliness is more than what you say or even what you do.

You see a pithy Facebook status may get you the ever-popular thumbs up from a select group of your "friends" but it may not communicate the true status of your heart.  Your public persona does not often reveal the secret sins of your private life. Tweeting a Bible verse, song lyric, or quote may win me favor with others but it may not portray my own lack of faith and failure to apply that particular truth.  The image people have of you does not always expose the rest of the story. What you say and do may contradict what you claim or promote.

I have been guilty of talking godliness while living idolatry. I have been guilty of seeking human approval over safeguarding my heart. I have been guilty of hiding my secret sin in order to protect my public image. I have been guilty of concealing sin in order to obtain the affirmation of others.

The truth is only God knows our heart. Only God is the true Judge of godliness. Only God sees into our soul. Humans can only judge our godliness (or lack thereof) based on our words and actions - of which both are easy to manipulate. It is easy to say and do things to make people believe you are someone you are not. Humans are easy to fool. God - not so much.  God looks deeper than words and actions. God examines our hearts.

The idea of godliness in the New Testament denotes two primary ideas: a) a God-ward attitude of priority, reverence, and faith that b) manifests itself in doing what pleases God (actions).  Thus godliness always begins with one's proper attitude toward God that naturally results in obedient activity for God.  So what might appear on the outside as godly actions might actually be selfish (and subsequently sinful) actions of they are performed without the proper attitude.

Here's where it gets tough ...

True godliness cannot be discerned through a Facebook status, tweet, quote, action, sermon, or any other form of outward performance.  Don't get me wrong - these activities MIGHT reveal a godly heart but not necessarily. Only God knows our hearts - our desperately wicked hearts.

We love human approval. We seek it. We seek it intentionally at times. We seek it unknowingly at times. We seek it in what we say, what we do, where we go, what we post, what we portray. We seek it so that we might feel better about ourselves or avoid blame or protect our image. Sadly, we often seek it at the expense of our own relationship with God.

I have lived a very ungodly life at times while talking the opposite. I have lived for the approval of humans at the expense of my relationship with Jesus. I've lived the lie and eventually it caught up to me.

In his booklet The Christian Graces, James Tolle asserts, "The graces of virtue, knowledge, and self-control, as well as of patience, must be hallowed and inspired by godliness, so that the thought of God is brought into them all, so that they begin and end with God." Godliness begins in our heart - pursuing and finding our identity in what Jesus has done and not in what we do or do not do.

In other words, godliness is the motivating factor that drives us to know God, know who we are in Him, and in return be more like Him. As I reflect on this truth, I am not sure how it all plays out in every day life. But what I do know is that there are times when God strips away everything by which you have been defined so that He might recapture your heart in a way that forces you to repent of your own sin and seek to rest solely in who He is and not upon who you are. It is a tough, ongoing, and much-needed lesson.

Luke's Bookends

I've been thinking recently about what God is like based primarily on the empirical evidence provided. Sometimes it seems difficult to get an accurate depiction of God in the harshness of life. I have said on more than one occasion that I understand why there are so many skeptics - just look around. Sickness. Disease. War. Murder. Rape. Child molestation. Violence. Abuse. Slavery. Genocide. Corruption. And the list could go on and on. The world in which we live can be a cruel place.

Because we live in such a broken world I understand why the skeptic, or even the average person with a somewhat normal sense of human justice, might scratch their head and question what kind of God this God is. And to be honest, I'm not always sure the answers we construct in the name of theology do much to answer the heart of these concerns. We want to think our answers are sufficient and so we argue and defend and uphold and guard our sacred theological moorings in a way that even renders them pointless at times. After all if you are only talking within your own walls, then who is really listening?

When you consider life's cruelties, it is easy to wonder if God is there and if He is, does He even care? Yet ever since act one/scene one, the Bible asserts that God remains involved in the story. If this assumption is valid, then the brokenness is not a result of God pulling away. On the contrary, the evidence appears to suggest that God remains active even when we question His involvement. Not only does God remain engaged with His creation, but He even went so far as to become a part of it. And if we truly believe that Jesus is the supreme revelation of God (Hebrews 1), then His life stands as the linchpin of understanding who God is.

So what does the life of Jesus tell us about who God is? What does the story of Jesus tell us about the brokenness? What does Jesus tell us about God's perspective of the harshness? What does Jesus tell us about God?

If anything, the life of Jesus reminds us that God redeems the brokenness for His glory. Jesus became one of us in order to rescue sinners from the brokenness. The story of Jesus is a story of redemption - God intervening on our behalf to break the cycle of sin and death. 

There are so many Jesus stories that attest to this truth. Let's think about just two. Consider the two accounts that bookend the life of Jesus in Luke's biography. When Jesus was born, God announced to a group of ragtag sinners: "A Savior has been born."  The birth announcement of Jesus simply said Savior. Not theologian. Educator. Priest. Philosopher. Philanthropist. Scholar. King. Sage. Now any of those titles could be used to help define the life and ministry of Jesus but when it came time for God to reveal His name - He chose Savior - a title of redemption.

Fast forward to the waning moments of Jesus' life. He is strapped to a cross between two rebels - men condemned to die for their atrocities. Two of the Gospel writers inform us that these two men, along with the crowd, mocked Jesus. John provides no information about their interaction. Luke alone records a scene that reminds us of who God is. Luke tells us that one of the sinners, evidently even after mocking Jesus, makes one final desperate request of Jesus: "Remember me when you come into your kingdom."  In a moment of frantic concern, this dying sinner cries out to Jesus for redemption. Jesus' response? "Today you will be with me in Paradise." This final scene just before Jesus breathes his last breath reminds us that He came to redeem sinners - frantic, desperate, dying sinners.

Think about this criminal hanging beside Jesus. He was a sinner dying for his crimes. He has just finished mocking Jesus. And now He wants forgiveness? Doesn't it seem a little convenient that he can make one desperate faith plea to Jesus and go straight to Paradise? Doesn't it seem unfair? A little too easy? Think about the people this man has hurt. The lives he destroyed. The pain he caused. The consequences he deserved. It just doesn't seem right. But isn't that what redemption is all about? God invading the brokenness.

Jesus encounters like this one remind me that God's scandalous grace is bigger than our theologies and formulas and presuppositions and opinions and systems and definitions and charts and interpretations or even our own sense of what is just and fair. It doesn't mean those things are unimportant. They are essential. It just means that if our human constructions cause us to lose sight of the reality that we can't restrict God to our human attempts to explain Him, then we have missed the heart of His own display of Himself. God is a Savior. He redeems sinners. He came to heal the spiritually sick.

What is God like? Honestly our theological boxes cannot contain the magnitude of who God is. We are being naive to think we can restrict God to our own tainted answers and opinions. But when we examine God when He appeared as one of us, one thing is clear: He is a God who enters our brokenness in order to redeem us from our sins. God's manifestation of Himself screams, Savior. And because we are all desperate sinners hanging with a spiritual death sentence of our own making, the gospel, the story of Jesus, truly is good news.

Speak the Truth. In Love.

"Speaking the truth in love"

This phrase is one that we hear tossed around a lot in Christian and non-Christian circles. I have used this expression multiple times in regard to parenting, rebuking a fallen Christian, calling out some pet sin, and a number of other circumstances when I felt a need to justify my words or tone. In more recent times, it has been a frequent axiom others have repeated to validate their words and/or actions toward me.

Although this particular phrase is seldom used in Scripture, the biblical principles of speaking the truth and being loving toward those with whom we are communicating are recurrent and important.

However applying both of these congruent principles can be a difficult balance to strike. Based on our own personality and how we tend to deal with conflict, we will usually fault to one side or the other.  For those who are more forthright in their communication and take a more direct approach when it comes to conflict resolution, speaking the truth comes natural. And for those who seek reconciliation or answers in a more gentle manner, the love part of the equation comes more naturally.

I know that I have had a tendency in the past to speak my mind in a way that was not always Christ-honoring while justifying my approach with the speak the truth mentality.  Often I would take my justification one step further by saying, "Because I love you, I am going to say this." Is there a biblical rationalization for this approach? Absolutely.  The Bible is filled with instructions to speak the truth regardless of the recipient's response.

But what do you do when the person to whom you are speaking already knows the truth intimately? This scenario presents a more difficult challenge.  For example, what would you do if a family member whom you loved deeply was driving their car toward a guaranteed catastrophe? Initially you would probably let that person know with passion of the pending threat: "The bridge is out. Turn around. If you don't, you could die." Speak the truth.  But what happens if that same family member knows of the pending threat and yet knowingly continues down that same path? What approach would you take? Would you begin to scream insults or implement guilt or shame to try and invoke them to stop? Or would you attempt to communicate with that person how much you love them, how much they would be missed, and how much they are valued?  Which approach is the appropriate one? I'm not sure.

At some point, the person who knows of the pending danger and yet continues down the same path simply ignores or stops hearing the truth-bearer. The truth can become irrelevant simply because of the tone. While the truth is always true, one's approach might dictate whether that truth falls on deaf ears. On the other hand, the one who focuses on loving the person may fail to communicate the urgency of the danger.

I believe it requires a lot of wisdom to know how to strike the balance between these two worlds. I know in my own experience that I was more prone to listen to those who spoke into my life in a way that demonstrated the love of Jesus. I knew the truth. I knew the bridge was out. I had plenty of people reminding me of the truth. And as a result, the warnings soon became somewhat superfluous - not because the warnings were untrue but because I already knew the truth. On the other hand, God placed a group of people in my life who were able to say, "Devin I totally disagree with your decision making right now but I love you and I will walk with you through this process. My love does not hinge on your decisions."

While both approaches are valid in different scenarios, it was the latter approach that God was able to use most effectively in my life.

I have three children with three different personalities. If I try and take the same approach to discipline and instruction with each of them, I will do a disservice to at least one of them. A more direct, firm approach is needed in some circumstances. And a more loving, compassionate tone is needed in other situations. Both are valid and both are necessary based on the child and the situation.


The same is true as we seek to navigate the difficult waters of speaking the truth in love to those who have fallen by the wayside or are living a life headed toward destruction.


Not too long ago, one of my closest mentors when I was in ministry e-mailed me to let me know that God has spoken to him in his quiet time about me. He and I had a few exchanges following my fall and he had spoken the truth candidly and repeatedly. Everything he said was 100% true and I knew it. Yet his words were unable to penetrate my calloused heart because I had already heard what he was saying so many times. As a matter of fact, I had preached the exact same thing multiple times and said the exact same things to dozens of people who came to me while living in some type of sin. His rebuke became redundant.

And yet this time, what he said penetrated my heart in a different way. In his e-mail, this mentor referenced Paul's instructions in Galatians 6:1 where the spiritually mature are called upon to deal with those caught in sin with a spirit of gentleness and to take their fall as a reminder to guard our own hearts because each of us are vulnerable. His words demonstrated a compassion, sincerity, and honesty that I had not felt from him before that moment.  Did he change his mind on what he believed I should do? Absolutely not. Did he compromise his beliefs? In no way. But his approach and tone spoke the truth louder to me than anything he had said before.


Jesus Christ is THE truth. Every time He spoke He was speaking the truth. And yet His greatest act was not telling people how depraved, condemned, and ignorant they are. His greatest act was when He lovingly laid down His life for the depraved, condemned, and ignorant. God so loved the world that He gave. No one could ever accuse Jesus of failing to speak the truth and yet it is His demonstration of unconditional love that bridges the gap between a perfect God and imperfect humans.


Speak the truth in love.  I'm not sure I have the answer on how both of these two directives work together most effectively. Well-meaning Jesus followers will often fall short on both sides of the adage. And yet understanding how and when to implement this principle might be the key to helping that disobedient child, fallen Christian, or confused sinner find redemption, healing, and restoration.

As Jesus phrased it to his disciples, we must learn to be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves" (Matt 10:16) - a tough but necessary balance to find.